Stop Telling Yourself You Can't

mindset Feb 12, 2019

Becoming more conscious and aware of my interpretations about reality is a concept that I was exposed to as a young kid, and when I say young I was about 11 and my dad made my brother and I attend a seminar about it for kids. 

He had the right idea, get them in young, start 'em early, but to my developing brain the place felt like a cult. This dude just kept telling me that I didn’t like chocolate ice cream, I just THOUGHT I liked chocolate ice cream and I was like, ugh, no bro, I like chocolate ice cream. You’ve lost me.

So I opposed any such discussions around perception versus reality vehemently until the age of 26. But in the year leading up to my exodus of my corporate oil career in March of ‘18, that changed.

I had been working on my mindset... but mindset is such a vague term so I’ll break it down a little further. I had been learning and applying concepts around becoming far more conscious of the stories I was telling myself and determining truth from interpretation and beliefs.

(spoiler alert: almost NOTHING is truth)

This 'coming of consciousness' helped me in so many areas of my life, but around that time in particular, and what may be relevant to YOU, is that it really helped me to deal with the fear. The fear I felt around leaving this 'secure' corporate environment with a pension, a 401K and a clear path to riches, for the complete unknown. 

But you see, the fear, though feeling VERY real at the time, was simply an interpretation. The feeling of security was also an interpretation, and I'll bet I will look back someday on that 'security' I had about being employed in the OIL INDUSTRY.. and laugh. 

Things that completely 'sucked' always had something to teach me, even if I couldn’t see it right away, especially while I was still in the corporate environment. And whichever part of that 'suck' or the 'lesson' I was focused on would determine how I felt about the situation. 

”Your reality is created by what you focus on and how you choose to interpret it. This goes for everything, including the things you focus on about the people in your world.” - Jen Sincero, author 'You Are a Badass'

The fear was a result of me focusing on all of the things that could go wrong by taking this leap into entrepreneurship. My internal dialogue was solely focused on keeping me safe, because that is what our ego does best; 'I could fail. If I fail I have to move home with my parents, how embarrassing would that be? What would my high school classmates think? If I actually do it, it won't be a dream anymore, and if it isn't a dream I could mess it up. What if I'm not smart enough? I can't do this.' and on and on the thoughts went. Exposing my underlying beliefs.

But what if, just maybe, I focused on what could go right? 'Let's see if I can do this, you will only really know when you try, you will always regret this if you don't, other people who are far less educated than you, and have had far fewer opportunities than you have figured out how to run a successful business, why not you? What about those people who could really benefit from what you are trying to teach them'

Repetition and application was truly the thing that made the difference for me. You can't just read something about consciousness and go "oh okay, I'm more conscious now, thanks. I will never doubt my greatness again". It is something you have to work at in every situation, everyday and consciously interrupt those thoughts of self doubt. I had been working on this muscle for about a year before I left my corporate career in March of 2018.

My mindset was truly tested when weeks after giving my notice, my boyfriend came home to our beautiful Santa Barbara apartment overlooking the ocean with a job offer in Minneapolis.. which in my mind was the coldest place on earth. And I don’t DO cold.

If this had happened one year earlier I am convinced that I would have had a straight up temper tantrum. "I finally quit and can enjoy where and how we live and you want to move us to the freaking NORTH POLE" or something to that effect... I am proud to say, that instead I looked at the opportunity from a place of surrender. If we are meant to be there, it will all work out.

And it did. We are living in Minneapolis, I have great friends here, I’ve made such amazing business connections and worked with incredible local clients. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t DO cold and there are days in a row where I don’t leave our condo and this was NOT a personal preference. But I have a choice on how I feel about our life. And I am choosing to believe we are here for a reason, I am choosing to believe it is where we are meant to be and I am choosing to focus on what I want to create more of. 

Changing my mindset has had a bigger impact on my business than any strategy or tool I have learned from the expert marketers or in business books.

If you're interested in becoming more conscious, changing your mindset or learning more here are a couple of books that I read over and over again and applied during the transition phase that helped me make the leap into entrepreneurship and I still listen to today: 

You Are a Badass: by Jen Sincero my favorite business / life book of ALL TIME I have listened to it over 50 times and absolutely love her combination of humor, self help and realism. 

The Surrender Experiment : by Michael Singer, how Michael trusted that everything was working out in his favor and surrendered to the universe. 

Loving What Is: by Byron Katie, how to start looking at everything in your world as a belief, four questions to ask yourself about any interpretation. 

Failing Up: by Leslie Odom Jr. who played Aaron Burr in the original Hamilton cast on Broadway. I love reading about people who have applied this sort of thinking to their lives with crazy success. 



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